NOTE: This column also appears on GameTheoryOnline.com as part of FamilyFriendlyVideogames.com founder Johner Riehl's ongoing series looking at videogame issues and topics from "The Family Perspective"

It used to happen all the time.

I’d be at a party or other social setting with my wife, an attorney who advocates for the rights of foster youth, and the conversation inevitably would turn to our careers.

And what do you, Johner?

“I work in the video game industry.”

I would always get one of two reactions to the v-word. Every so often I’d see a twinkle in the husband’s eye (or sometimes the wife’s), and they’d immediately want to know if I could tell them more about their favorite game, or discuss the news of the next big upcoming title.

But more often than not, my work was dismissed as unimportant and trivial. Videogames, in the eyes of many parents, seem to be at the forefront of many of the negative issues plaguing society today, and the word itself may as well have four letters as far as many families are concerned. But my work on videogames isn’t as insignificant in comparison to my wife’s work as many might think.

Parents and families need to open their minds and rethink what they know about videogames, because they’re now firmly entrenched in everyday life and have been shown to have many positive impacts on society and the families that play them.

Maybe 15 years ago you could have dismissed videogames as a passing fad, but these days it’s hard to imagine a world without them.  Whether it’s home systems from Nintendo, Microsoft and Sony, portable options like iPads and mobile phones or even online computer and Facebook games, at least two-thirds of American households play some sort of videogame.

And videogames aren’t just for kids. The average game player is 34 years old and has been playing for 12 years. The average age of the most frequent game purchaser is 40 years old, showing that many parents are engaged in their family’s videogame purchases.

The truth is many parents these days grew up with videogames and are now sharing their hobby with their kids. But there are still older parents and grandparents who did not, and there remains a persistent notion that all videogames are geared and marketed towards minors, and today’s youth must be protected from the evils of videogames at all costs.

A lot of the negative discussion of games stems from the fact that often when videogames are discussed in a mainstream media environment, it’s the most violent, sensational and shocking games that are highlighted.  Much of the research and focus of debate is on the negative impact of games, and much time and energy is also spent rebutting and debunking outrageous findings, such as an allegation in February 2011 on Fox News by an expert who said that sexual innuendos in videogames like Bulletstorm caused players to perform real-life sexual crimes.

While this debate was quickly quelled since the research cited didn’t actually exist, critics of videogames often point out that exposure to violent videogames has a negative impact on today’s youth.  But there are a few reasons to be leery of these findings.

The biggest problem with research of this type is the correlational nature of the results. For example, are people who play violent videogames more likely to commit violent acts, or are people who commit violent acts more likely to play violent videogames?  It’s a classic problem of erroneously determining causation from correlation.

Additionally, many of the negative results that are so strongly associated with videogames can also be correlated to exposure to other violent forms of media, like music and movies. But most reasonable parents understand that just because a movie like Saw III is violent, it doesn’t mean kids shouldn’t be allowed to see Toy Story 3.  Unfortunately, the same common sense doesn’t always translate to videogames.

Ironically, chances are it’s easier for kids to get their hands on inappropriate music or movies then it is videogames. A 2011 report by the Federal Trade Commission showed that the videogame industry was doing a better job than music and movie industries at regulating the sale of age-inappropriate games to minors.

Many parents would also be surprised to learn that the vast majority of games published are approved for most ages. In 2010, 73% of all videogames rated by the ESRB carried a rating of E or E10+. Only 5% were rated M for Mature (17+).  But even though the number of family-appropriate videogames far outweighs the number of intended-for-mature-audiences-only violent games, many parents want to focus on the small number of extremely violent games, and use their feelings about those to dismiss all videogames as negative influences.

“As parents, we need to ask what we are rejecting before we simply write it off as a waste of time,” says Dr. Yvonne Fournier, an education and child advocate. “Just because today’s parents either did not have a videogame system as we were growing up, or grew up with many of these systems in their infancy does not mean that the boom in gaming we see today is worthless or bad for our children. After all, each generation had a unique set of toys to reflect the times.”

Fournier thinks parents need to realize that their children’s workplace will be different from theirs, and playing videogames can help teach many important skills.

“They can learn to think in terms of goals and strategies; to take risks without fear of attempting; and – perhaps most important for the workforce of 2020 – to expect and accept failure without paralysis and know that success may take weeks or months.”

Degrees and careers in gaming and game development already are in high demand as part of the multibillion-dollar videogame industry. Even The Princeton Review ranks the top 10 undergraduate and graduate programs for videogame design. And there are a number of job functions possible in the industry that don’t require programming skills. Kids interested in games can aspire to work for videogame companies in the fields of marketing, accounting, graphic design and more.

According to the ESA, in 2009 the entertainment software industry’s value added to the U.S. Gross Domestic Product (GDP) was $4.9 billion. In 2010, computer and videogame companies directly and indirectly employed more than 120,000 people in 34 states. The average salary for direct employees is $90,000, resulting in total national compensation of $2.9 billion.

Videogame concepts are also being brought into today’s education system, as school programs are being created to make curriculums more participatory, immersive and fun – with videogames as the model and inspiration.

In fact, one program in New York called Quest To Learn utilizes “games-based learning” which, according to their website, emphasizes active participation, strategic thinking, constant feedback and creativity, all skills found in successful videogames. While the school emphasizes that they are not a place where children spend their day playing only commercial videogames, they do embrace “the principles of game design to create highly immersive, game-like learning experiences in the classroom.”

Perhaps more importantly than the increasingly ubiquitous role of videogames in nation’s economy and educational system are the many positive physical and emotional impacts games can have for families.

Research cited by game designer and author Jane McGonigal highlights benefits for kids who play the right kinds of games, and notes that those are amplified when these games are played together with family.  According to McGonigal, kids who spend just 30 minutes playing a “pro-social” game like Super Mario Sunshine (in which you clean up pollution and graffiti around an island) are more likely to help friends, family and neighbors in real-life for a full week after playing the game.

The new breed of active games made possible by the motion controls of the Wii, Kinect and PlayStation Move have led to a new type of videogame that requires players to move around, and these games can have a great effect on the fitness of today’s children. Studies have found that kids who play these “exergames” as part of their daily activities burned significantly more calories at their resting metabolic rate than those who played more sedentary games.

For many parents, the concern isn’t that their kids are playing videogames, it’s that their kids are playing too many videogames. Experts agree that the amount of time kids spend playing needs to be regulated, and there are a number of tools parents can use to help keep track of the time.

Even with monitoring, though, many parents still fear their kids will become addicted to videogames.  But one of the key recommendations for parents who are worried their kids are playing too many videogames isn’t to ban them entirely.  It’s to embrace them and participate.  Many experts recommend that parents who are concerned their kids play too much should spend time playing videogames with their children.  This is counter to many parents’ instinct, but it makes sense that parents who will not only be more knowledgeable about the games their kids are playing, but will also be able to form a new connection because they are meeting their child on their turf.

Slowly but surely, parents are embracing the positive financial, emotional and physical impacts of videogames.  I’m more than confident that the work I do to highlight positive videogames for families is just as important to society as my wife’s work with foster youth.  And hopefully more and more parents will start understanding that videogames can, and should, be a positive part of their family’s daily routine.

But parents need to take an active role in the videogame purchase process to help better monitor the games that their families are playing.  Families must take steps to become educated and informed about the many different types of games available today, and decide which ones are right for them.

Keep in mind, it’s not just enough to find out more information about the games your kids playing – parents need to work to find games the whole family can enjoy.  Surveys show parents who play videogames with their kids report that playing videogames has helped bring their families closer together. That kind of benefit should be more than enough to persuade any concerned parent that they need to invest the time to learn more about videogames.

So the next time you’re in a social setting, and someone mentions the v-word, take the opportunity to talk about the positive impacts videogames can have on families. And make sure you’ve got a twinkle in your eye, because ‘videogame’ is not a bad word.